What do You Think This Alleged Monster is?

My News Limerick:

New York's East River washed up a  beast, 

It is quite the mystery, to say the least,

Quite undeniable, 

It's undefinable,

Let's bury it and thank God it's deceased!

Quote of the Day:

"When he is best, he is a little worse than a man; and when he is worst, he is a little better than a beast." William Shakespeare (1564-1610), The Merchant of Venice, Act I, sc. 2

Commentary:

Oh my goodness! What the heck is this thing? The popular "Rivers Monsters" star Jeremy Wade said this:

"From my previous incarnation as a biology teacher I can say it's not a pig: pigs have characteristic cloven feet, which this animal hasn't got. The teeth also look wrong for a pig. From the picture it's hard to get a sense of scale — some kind of rodent would be my guess, and it's common for dead bodies to swell in water, which can give them a grotesque appearance, not to mention crabs etc. Partially eating soft parts of the face. Not to be ruled out, but unlikely in this case, is the assembly of hybrid animals by taxidermists, from bits of several unrelated creatures. This practice used to be popular in Japan, and I once saw a shrine dedicated to such an animal, not that I'm suggesting that should be the fate of this unfortunate beast." 

What do you think it is?

applewriter.blogspot.com

Can You Guess How Much Two Young Entrepreneurs Earned Running a Lemonade Stand?

My News Limerick:
Marcus and Christopher wanted to go to a show,
But didn't have enough money for their family to go,
Without anyone's consent,
They earned every red cent,
Now have plenty to travel and some to blow!

Quote of the Day:
"I'm convinced that about half of what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance. Steve Jobs (1955-2011)

Commentary:
Man, perseverance is a true statement when describing these two young entrepreneurs; but another word comes to my mind when I think about what they have accomplished. I call it a true "American Spirit". These two young men just taught every America a very important life lesson. That is success comes through hard work, determination, and ingenuity.

What would most kids do if they needed money? Most would go ask their parents! In comparison, what do many Americans do when they need money or assistance. They go to the government for a handout.

The lesson learned here is this; these two young boys understood that in order to find a way to accomplish their goal of traveling to Dallas, they need to find a way to make the money on their own. With a little thought and a lot of ingenuity they accomplished this goal through none other than a simple lemonade stand. They worked 11 hour days for a few weeks and earned over 2,000 dollars. Enough the finance the trip and plenty left over which they plan to donate to charity.

If more Americans would learn this valuable lesson. They too could reap the rewards of hard work and ingenuity. America can no longer be the mommy and daddy of poor Americans. One can argue that many with disabilities or the elderly need government assistance and I believe this statement is true. But, those that are physically and mentally able should not receive handouts from hard-working Americans like me.

Off to Jail because of Home Bible Studies

There once was a man named Salman,
Treated like a Christian in Iran,
Held criminally liable,
For teaching the Bible,
Would it be ok to teach Quran?

Verse of the Day
“Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.” James 3:1 (ESV)

Quote of the Day
“The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.” G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936)

Michael Salman, was recently sentenced by a Phoenix, Arizona court to serve 60 days of jail and fined $12,180.

What was the crime? Was it Tax evasion, wife or child abuse, or maybe failure to pay parking violations? No, not even close; it was for having Bible classes in his home. You are probably telling yourself right now that something else must be involved here; it cannot be possible that someone was arrested for this!

Nope, it is a pretty “cut-to-chase” story here. The only thing different about his Bible study than most is it became so popular that he built a small “garage-type” building in his back yard to support the numbers of attendees. The city of Phoenix now believes this building should meet the same law requirements as a church and is in violation of 67 city codes. Michael Salman had this to say:

“They’re cracking down on religious activities and religious use. They’re attacking what I, as a Christian, do in the privacy of my home … If I had people coming to my home on a regular basis for poker night or Monday Night Football, it would be permitted. But when someone says to us we are not allowed to gather because of religious purposes, that is when you have discrimination.”

This is frightening! To what extent should the government have control? What is next? If we are not careful, it will be illegal to have backyard BBQ’s because it is a fire hazard or you may need a city permit to have an Avon party in your house because your house is residential and not commercial.

Ask yourself this question. What if this man was a Muslim and teaching the Quran in his backyard? Do you believe he would face the same troubles with the law? Of course not! We all know this would have been politically incorrect and the liberal media would have had a “field day” with it!

Let me ask you another question. Did you hear about this story from the liberal media or was reading my blog your first knowledge of the facts. More than likely, your answer was the later because it would have also been “politically incorrect” for the liberal media to give coverage to a story that shows how insanely stupid our laws have become.

The left does not want to talk about these subjects because they know that most Americans would side with Mr. Salman and demand justice for him. They know that we would demand changes in laws like this or we will vote someone in that will change the laws. Friends, the truth is, they want everyone to be politically ignorant of these topics because control and power is what they desire.

The liberals will stop until every American has complete dependence upon the government. It is time that we “start smelling the roses” and wake up! The survival of our 1st amendment rights and American values is swiftly coming to an end if we do nothing.

"Orvillecopter" the Quadrotor

My News Limerick:

There once was a stuffed cat quadrotor,

“Orvillecopter” was built to soar,

Killed by a car,

Now a furry flying star,

Will PETA like or totally deplore?

Quote of the Day:

“Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was suspect.”

Steven Wright(1955 - )

Story and Commentary:

Dutch artist, Bart Jansen, has created “Orvillecopter”. A quadrotordrone made from his dead cat. “Orvillecopter” is the “Terminator” of the cat taxidermy world. It’s half taxidermy and half remote-controlled Lotus T580. This half cat and half machine were named after Orville Wright of the famous Wright Brothers.

“Orvillecopter may have been killed by a car, but instead of going six feet under he went to the skies. Spending afterlife chasing birds, dogs, cattle, and any other critters his owner chooses for him.

What does PETA think of this? Is this animal cruelty or a true form of love between cat and owner?

Just think, if there is a cat spirit. Is it possible that the spirit will be able to see through the eyes of the deceased?

Probably not, but I do not have a problem with this. I think Bart Jansen found a unique and creative way to memorialize his late friend.

Arby's Urinal Malfunction Makes McDonald's Coffee Burn Look Like Child's Play

My Limerick News:
There once was a man from Colorado,
An Arby’s fan he is no mo,
A urinal malfunction,
While performing a bodily function,
Burned his ‘Willie’ and full of woe!

Famous Quote:
“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
Robin Williams (1951 - )

The Story and Commentary:
Kenneth DeJoie filed a lawsuit against Arby’s. Why? He claims that while he was doing his business in the urinal, there was a malfunction and a hot “jet of steam” shot out and scalded his genitals.

Of course, he immediately complained to an employee and this was the response, “We have that bathroom problem again,”

DeJoie’s complaint charges that the management knew about the plumbing problem, but failed to do anything about it.

DeJoies wife also joined the suit by claiming that she has suffered a loss of consortium.

All I have to say is this; this suit sure beats the heck out of the McDonald’s coffee burn lawsuit. Speaking from a man’s point of view, I believe Dejoies has one heck of a case and if these allegations are true, he truly deserves reparation.

applewriter.blogspot.com

 - )

The Track Super Star!

Meghan Vogel is a track star,
That ended a race as a super star,
Because she rather,
Help another,
Great sportsmanship was more important by far,

Quote of the Day:
“One man practicing sportsmanship is better than a hundred teaching it.”
Knute Rockne (1888 – 1931)

The Story and Commentary:
Meghan Vogel lost the race, in fact, she came in last place, but in everyone’s eyes she was the true “Winner!”

She had earlier won the 1,600-meter-race, but this time she noticed that one of her opponents, Arden McMath, had collapsed. Meghan immediately did something that she knew would “disqualify” her from winning the race; she picked up her opponent and helped her to the finish line.

Not only did she help her to the finish line, but also made sure that she passed the line in front of her.

Her actions greatly inspired the crowd! Everyone cheered and roared with approval of her actions. All attention was on this great act of sportsmanship. The crowd no longer cared about the “winner” of the race or anything else.

Meghan Vogel immediately became the true “winner” and a “Super Star!”

You may ask, “What’s the big deal? Why is this a story at all? Or who cares!”

Well, personally I do believe this is a noteworthy story, just because sportsmanship of this level is so hard to find these days. Most young people today are wrapped into their own little worlds and care only about themselves.

I give a standing ovation to Meghan and want her to have as much recognition as possible. Maybe her story will inspire other young people to think of others the same way she did.

Please pass this story on to a young person(s) that needs inspiration.

applewriter.blogspot.com

The True Federal Deficit!

"The merchants of the world will weep and mourn for her, for there is no one left to buy their goods." Revelation 18:11

The 'state' of our economy is dismally bad,

Learning the truth makes you really mad,

What Congress tells us,
Doesn't fully address,
Trillions that businesses would have to add,

"There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers."
Richard Feynman (1918 - 1988)

Did you know that the official federal deficit numbers that Congress tells us leaves out something that would be illegal for any business in the United States?

The difference between Congress and businesses is that Congress does not have to operate under GAAP (Generally Accepted Accounting Principles). Under these rules, businesses must report the cost of promised retirement benefits. This is also true for states and local governments, but not for Congress.

This graph from USA TODAY shows the actual federal deficit if Congress had to follow the same rules as "everyone else." In 2011, Congress reported a federal deficit of 1.3 Trillion, but the real number should of been 5 Trillion. That is a difference of 3.7 Trillion dollars.

USA TODAY reported, "Liabilities for Social Security, Medicare and other retirement programs rose by $3.7 trillion in 2011, but the amount was not registered on the government's books."

Below are some [block quotes] from USA TODAY:

• Social Security had the biggest financial slide. The government would need $22.2 trillion today, set aside and earning interest, to cover benefits promised to current workers and retirees beyond what taxes will cover. That's $9.5 trillion more than was needed in 2004.
• Deficits from 2004 to 2011 would be six times the official total of $5.6 trillion reported.




• Federal debt and retiree commitments equal $561,254 per household. By contrast, an average household owes a combined $116,057 for mortgages, car loans and other debts.

How are we, as a nation, going to solve this problem? We have got to recycle the idiots in Washington and elect true conservatives. I am not talking about another Bush or people like a majority of "so called" conservative we have in office now. We need "grass-roots" Tea Party Patriots elected and go in and "clean house." If this is not done soon, I truly believe this country "as we know it" is over.

Did you know that if we paid $1 a second on our deficit it would take over 480,000 years to pay off the existing debt we have right now! How much more can we take before our economy totally collapses. I do not think it is much longer. Please, Lord help us!

What are your thoughts?

AppleWriter.blogspot.com

A Dangerous Islamic Alliance

My News Limerick:
Farrakhan & the New Black Panther's Chairman,
Forged an alliance with the leader of Iran,
An Islamic pact,
That is nuclear backed,
Worst nightmare for any Israeli fan!

Famous Quote of the Day:
"Yes, I have cherished my "demagogue" role. I know that societies often have killed the people who have helped to change those societies. And if I can die having bought any light, having exposed any meaningful truth that will help to destroy the racist cancer that is malignant in the body of America - then, all of the credit is due to Allah. Only the mistakes have been mine."
Malcom X (1964), The Autobiography of Malcom X

My Commentary:
Racism cannot be combated by racism. I just do not "get it!" People such as Malik Zulu Shabazz, Farrakhan, and the late Malcom X, whom they look up to, primary beef was against racism against blacks in America, but they themselves are more racist than most of those they openly hate. The racism is not just against whites or the KKK, etc. Because of their Islamic beliefs, another primary target is Israel and not at all ashamed to say so.

Recently Shabazz discussed a frightening alliance between The Nation of Islam, the New Black Panthers, and the Iranian regime leader, Ahmadinejad, whom possesses nuclear capabilities.  The meeting took place on September 27th, 2010 in New York on top of a Manhattan Rooftop with another 50 radical Imams in attendance. Details of this meeting were never publicly revealed until a recent Black Panther Radio message by Shabazz on Saturday.

Following, is some dialogue from the broadcast:

• Envisions the "glory" of "paroling on the Israeli embassy with a hundred New Black Panthers" fighting for Palestine.
• Fighting white people is an "international struggle against a common enemy."
• Whites are trying to "divide the non-white" population against each other.
• Because "half of Africa" was involved in slavery "we say Africa owes us reparations, too."
• Black radicals should seek "alliances that are possible right now with people who got solid track records of being against this beast [white people]."
• Shabazz "stands on solid ideological ground" with "His Excellency, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad."
• "Mahmoud Ahmadinejad" understands "the dynamics and the politics of world revolution."
• Shabazz discussed "bringing natural gas and oil and other reparations into the black nation, and other things - unmentionable" with Ahmadinejad.
• There were "fifty Imams in the meeting" and "Minister Farrakhan is sitting in the first seat in the front."

• There are "just as many Arabs who hate this white man as we do" and the Black Panthers should ally themselves with radical Islam.

How many racist statements can you find? I am so very tired of the bigotry within these groups. How can you preach against the racism of African Americans and be an extreme racist yourself.

These groups blame whites and the Jews for everything, but refuse to mention the most destructive element blacks are dealing with on a daily basis. By far, the most destructive force within the black community is found within itself. Black on black crimes, to include murders, is 2 to 3 times more likely than White on black crimes. Everyday black communities are tearing themselves apart from the inside out and all these groups can do is blame the white man and the Jews.

Of course, these groups will say that their situation is the fault of the whites. They are repressed and oppressed. Yes, they have been repressed in the past, but this country has come along way since the 60s equal rights with Dr. King.

President Obama is living proof that opportunities are available for anyone who is willing to work hard to achieve their goals. Let us stop making excuses and find productive positive ways to change the extreme racism that exists within our country on all sides of the fence.

Like I said earlier, "Racism cannot be combated by racism."

Racism can only be defeated through love and understanding of each other's differences. "Stop the Hate!" and "Start the Love!"

applewriter.blogspot.com

Rev. Wright Bribed to Keep Quiet!

My News Limerick:

Have you heard the new interview from Rev. Wright,

Has a box the liberals want to keep out of sight,

Was bribed by Obama,

A best selling drama,

$150,000 to keep him quiet!

Quote of the Day:

"Men are more often bribed by their loyalties and ambitions than by money."

Robert Jackson

My Commentary:

OK, I agree with you! Many are very tired of hearing about Rev. Wright, but this story is different because he is finally telling the truth! I think Obama's throwing him under the bus has finally got to him and he wants everyone to know how Obama tried to "shut him up!"

I would first like to thank Edward Klein. Somehow he convinced Rev. Wright to sit down for a three hour taped interview, which he used in his new book the 'The Amateur', an unauthorized biography of President Barack Obama. This book makes some startling claims from reliable sources. He also spoke to contacts that witnessed  former president Bill Clinton calling Obama an "amateur" and after a secret poll that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton could beat Obama in the Democratic Presidential Election tried to urge her to run against Obama in the 2012 presidential election.

Everyday, more and more truths are being exposed about Obama. Everyday, Americans are learning more and more about the  most corrupt administration in America's history. Obama will do whatever is most "convenient". From shutting up political nightmares such as Rev. Wright to the financial destruction of our country, it does not matter as long as his Communist Marxist objectives are met.

During the interview, Rev. Wright talks about numerous startling subjects about Barack and Michelle, but most interesting by far was the bribery attempt by Obama. Then Senator Obama met privately in Rev. Wright's home and Wright claims that he has an email from one of Obama's closest advisers offering $150,000 if he keeps quiet. Wright claims that proof of this is kept in a secret box and everytime he sees the box, it brings back the memories of the bribery. How is this story not "headlines" for every mainstream news outlet. Except for Fox News and a few others, this story is getting the runaround from the liberal mainstream.

It does not matter, Americans are not "Idiots." The liberal media can try to hide the truth and avoid these facts all they want. Americans are very quickly starting to see the truth. Many Americans will be shocked to learn that "Hope and Change" did in fact come to America.

If was just in the form of "Marxism and Communism" and the destruction of the America we all know and love!

applewriter.blogspot.com

The "Sacred Sacrifice"

My News Limerick:

A Saudi Arabian man full of pride,

Has a peculiar way of making money on the side,

Auctioned off his son,

Sold them one by one,

The other sons already sold to die,

Quote of the Day:

“I have given two cousins to war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife’s brother.”

Artemus Ward (1834 – 1867)

My Commentary:

Another sick and gruesome story from our “Religion of Love” allies in Saudi Arabia. But wait, Shhhhhhhhhhh!We should all follow the liberal’s advice and be tolerant of others. Maybe if we are tolerant and accepting of their Sharia Law, then maybe they will change.

I do not care what religion you are or if you do not have any religion? How perverse is it to sell off your sons to die? This Saudi Arabian man is not only doing it, but happy and proud to do it!

There is no doubt in my mind that something is seriously wrong with Islamic extremists. Every levelheaded Muslim leader in the world should stand up and condemn these actions, but they will not. How often do you hear these leaders condemning these despicable actions?  At best, we very rarely hear anything from them.

Let us put the “shoe on the other foot” for a minute and make a comparison between Muslims and Christians. How do Christian leaders react when Christian extremist do terrible acts? First, most probably feel the same as I do, Very ashamed and do not believe they are “true” believers and followers of Christ. Most important is that they are very quick to condemn their actions. I would also like to point out that terrorist attacks by Christian extremist are very rare compared to large daily amounts Muslim extremist have. Maybe that is it! Could it be that Muslim leaders are numb to the horror of their believers because terrorist violence happens daily within their ranks? No, I do not think so either!

During research on this story, I read countless comments asking, “Where’s the mother?” and I thought to myself, “Idiots, are people really this ignorant?” Do you not know that the mother has less say so in this matter than their family goat? The mother is at home with the other “sister wives” praying that she is not the next one on the “chopping block!” Even if she tried to stand up to her husband, she would be a victim of a “mercy killing!”

What are your thoughts?

applewriter.blogspot.com

Will Smith Found His "Lovitz Curve!"

My News Limerick:

Will Smith talks about finance,

Supports a higher tax stance,

Found his “Lovitz Curve”,

Millions he must preserve,

Very thankful to not live in France,

Famous Quote of the Day:

“France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can’t tear the toilet paper.”

Billy Wilder (1906-2002)

YouTube Video:

My Commentary:

Shortly after actor and comedian Jon Lovitz’s “bulls**t” rant against President Obama’s taxation policies went viral, Zombie, a blogger for PJ Media, posted the “Lovitz Curve” theory. Named after the famous “Laffer Curve,” the “Lovitz Curve” theory is that rich leftist such as Will Smith are comfortable with taxation and paying their “fair share” only up to a certain point. That point is the “Lovitz Curve.”

Liberal thinking really does “blow my mind!” I simply cannot understand it. Will Smith said, “America has been fantastic to me. I have no problem paying whatever I need to pay to keep my country growing.”

He said this, but clearly, his expressions showed different. Anyone could easily tell and he admitted himself that 75 percent was excessively much to pay. That is why he said, “God bless America!”

Therefore, my question to all the liberals out there is this.

How much should we pay? How much are you willing to pay? What is your “Lovitz Curve?” Should it be 50%, 60%, 70%, or more?

What exactly is the fair amount to pay?

I am constantly hearing liberals say, “The rich should pay more!” Nevertheless, I never hear anyone say how much more. Please, someone tell me, how much more should they pay?

I attest that the taxes our rich pay now are already more than fair. In fact, what they pay in taxes is in fact very unfair to our rich. The average rich person in America pays about 35% right now.

Now compare this to the fact that approximately 50% of Americans pay nothing in taxes or actually make money off tax refunds.

The only way to make taxes fair would be to implement a Flat Tax. Only when every American pays an equal percentage in taxes will they finally be fair.

Of course, liberals will tell you that a flat tax is not fair for many different reasons.

They will say the rich do not need all that money and we should “redistribute the wealth” to the poor.

I would then say, “What do you think the rich does with all that excess money?”

The fact is most of them will invest the money back into the economy and create jobs. So, what happens when taxes take away large portions of these excesses? The rich stop investing and YES, you guessed it. Jobs are no longer created!

Wake up America! The liberals, the champions of the poor, are not helping you at all! In fact, they are hurting you very badly. Of course, if you want entitlements, you want Welfare, Medicare, and Obama Care. All the social programs that our country cannot afford anymore, then the Democrats are the right choice. But, understand that these programs are not helping the root cause of our #1 problem in America right now.

We need Jobs!

What do you think?

Applewriter.blogspot.com

China's Dead Baby Pill

My News Limerick:
Have you heard about the new China pill?,
This story will definitely give quite the chill,
Made from a dead baby,
Do you think that maybe,
The world's morals are going quickly downhill!

DNA testing showed that 99.7% of the powder was human remains

My Commentary:
Have you ever heard a more gruesome story than this one? Over 17,000 pills that were confiscated by China were found to actually contain the ground flesh from dead babies! They were sold as a stamina enhancer and medical panacea in parts of Asia.

The babies were collected from death rooms, still borns, and abortions within China. For those that do not know what death rooms are; they are rooms where babies are placed to die because the parents already had one baby.

Then the babies were placed in refrigerators until they were ready to be placed in medical drying microwaves. After the skin is tinder dry, the skin is pummeled into a powder and processed into pill capsules.

A BBC official said this, "It was confirmed those capsules contain materials harmful to the human body, such as super bacteria. We need to take tougher measures to protect public health,"

The following YouTube video explains the story further:

When is our government going the start condemning the outrageous human rights violations going on in China? The problem is we cannot, because China is our #1 funder of our debt. Our government is forced into political acceptance of these and other outrageous offenses because we must sustain good relations in order to keep China as our primary backer and financier of our debt.

Even worse, our national debt is turning the heads of other countries to rely on China as the world's financial leader. Basically, everyone is accepting their ethics because of their soon-to-be financial dominance.

The world all of us live in is not the same as we lived in just a few short years ago. Our morals are held hostage by our financial needs. We must take fiscal control and stand up against these atrocities before it is too late. The  more we lose face in the international community; the more other countries will also accept the deplorable policies of nations such as China.

Let us all pray! Then stand up and inform others of the decline of America's morals. Our only chance is to fire those in government that continually allow these types of human rights violations to happen and elect government officials with the moral aptitude and courage to stand up and fight against unmoral policies within China and many others.

applewriter.blogspot.com

Joe Biden Gaffes Again

My News Limerick:
Joe Biden is graceless and full of gaffes,
Gives the Republicans lots of laughs,
Refers to Romney as President,
And Clinton as present WH resident,
Would be fired if he were on Obama’s staff,

Famous Quote:
“Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.”Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 – 1832)



How embarrassing this man has been for the Obama administration for the last four years. I think the Republicans really look forward to him speaking again, because he says such stupid remarks almost every time.

Anyway, if you have not heard, Biden’s latest came from an interview by David Gregory on “Meet the Press,” During the Interview; Biden referred to Mitt Romney as “President Romney,” and referred to President Obama as “President Clinton,”






Wow! If I were Gov. Romney, I would use this clip in my next election campaign advertisement. Why should he pay professionals to downplay President Obama when the VP does this for him free!

He also told Gregory that he is “absolutely” okay with same-sex marriage, which quickly prompted a statement from his office saying those words represent Biden’s personal views and not those of the administration.

Of course, he is okay with same-sex marriage. Just like anyone else, that does not have any morals or God-fearing beliefs. It is easy to be ok with anything, when all you care about is power and yourself.






Let us take a look at some of Biden's past gaffes:

"This is a big fucking deal!" --Joe Biden, caught on an open mic congratulating President Barack Obama during the health care signing ceremony, Washington, D.C., March 23, 2010

"His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And- although, she's- wait- your mom's still- your mom's still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul." --Joe Biden, on the mother of Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen,

who is very much alive, Washington, D.C., March 17, 2010

"I wouldn't go anywhere in confined places now. … When one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft. That's me. I would not be, at this point, if they had another way of transportation, suggesting they ride the subway." --Joe Biden, providing handy tips to protect against the swine flu and freaking us out, "Today Show" interview, April 30, 2009

"An hour late, oh give me a f**king break." –Joe Biden, caught on a live mic speaking to a former Senate colleague after arriving on Amtrak at Union Station in Washington, D.C., March 13, 2009 (Watch video clip)

"You know, I'm embarrassed. Do you know the Web site number? I should have it in front of me and I don't. I'm actually embarrassed." –Joe Biden, speaking to an aide standing out of view during an interview on CBS' "Early Show," in the midst of encouraging viewers to visit a government-run Web site that tracks stimulus spending, Feb. 25, 2009

"If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there's still a 30% chance we're going to get it wrong." --Joe Biden, speaking to members of the House Democratic caucus who were gathered in Williamsburg, Va., for their annual retreat, Feb. 6, 2009

"Am I doing this again? For the senior staff? My memory is not as good as Chief Justice Roberts'." --Joe Biden, mocking Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts' botched effort to swear in Barack Obama as Biden was set to swear in White House senior staff one day after the Inauguration snafu, Washington, D.C., Jan. 21, 2009

"Jill and I had the great honor of standing on that stage, looking across at one of the great justices, Justice Stewart." –Joe Biden, mistakenly referring to Justice John Paul Stevens, who swore him in as vice president, Washington, D.C., Jan. 20, 2009 (Watch video clip)

"Look, John's last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs." --Joe Biden, Athens, Ohio, Oct. 15, 2008 (Source)

"When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened." –Joe Biden, apparently unaware that FDR wasn't president when the stock market crashed in 1929 and that only experimental TV sets were in use at that time, interview with Katie Couric, Sept. 22, 2008 (Watch video clip)

"Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya." –-Joe Biden, to Missouri state Sen. Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair, Columbia, Missouri, Sept. 12, 2008 (Watch video clip)

"Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me." --Joe Biden, speaking at a town hall meeting in Nashua, New Hampshire, Sept. 10, 2008 (Source)

"A man I'm proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States — Barack America!" --Joe Biden, at his first campaign rally with Barack Obama after being announced as his running mate, Springfield, Ill., Aug. 23, 2008 (Watch video clip)

"A successful dump!" --Joe Biden, explaining his whereabouts (dropping deadwood at the dump) to the reporters outside his home, Wilmington, Del., Aug. 20, 2008

"I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." –Joe Biden, referring to Barack Obama at the beginning of the 2008 Democratic primary campaign, Jan. 31, 2007 (Source)

"You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.... I'm not joking." --Joe Biden, in a private remark to an Indian-American man caught on C-SPAN, June, 2006 (Watch video clip)